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Nov. 18th, 2008 @ 12:38 pm (no subject)
I am marking the day before the day before today!!!







Sometimes. Even brilliant minds do fail... :)



You reader you... Watch me.... ;)

Make no rooms for any bit of regret




Big LOL!





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Nov. 15th, 2008 @ 11:38 am driving license...
Current Mood: discontentdiscontent
Mom and i stayed in LTO for my plastic card for 8 loooong hours. Fixers are of no help in the lines in the cashier! "Mr. Bigote" only fixed my major glitch!!! I wasn't able to drive the owner type jeep that was the age of my dad. The rusty and holey moley owner jeep's stick shift is like dangling like a hotdog. It is very hard to manipulate! And the pedals! The pedals men! Even how slowly I took my foot of the clutch, it didn't come out to life. I hate it when people expect me to suck. LTO is a "boy-macho" world. And what sucks more is that I didn't prove them wrong. They're right. I was defeated by the lolo-owner jeep. The rusty auto died to me like 2 times. The manong tester got 100 bucks from  me... AND I GOT MY DRIVING LICENSE. I should've brought our own car. tsk tsk. But I'm still scared. I can't be left alone with a non-driving person (my mom) hahaha. That'll be nooo safe for both of us. I couldn't say that waiting for long 8 hours is worth it. Waiting for that long hours is always noooot worth it. I consumed a part of my life staring blankly and being with many boy-machos (GRRR). 

I need to learn driving! Uh-oh! Dad's coming... The veeerrryy strict driving prof in the planet. hahahha
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Nov. 13th, 2008 @ 01:23 am I AM still awake...
i am still alive....

i hope i can do this....

:) :) :)


three smiles for the peanut vendor whom sheltered me in one Rainy and Windy day in UN Ave...

Instituto Cervantes... my next school for many consecutive Saturdays... :)

wish me luck!!! :)

Hugtyt to myself :)
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Nov. 12th, 2008 @ 11:15 pm on settling differences and softening
I am... now in a maze

I don't know how I got in the center. But I managed to be in the eye

No thorns, weeds, insects that bites

Nobody could touch me. I am safe

But still I am in a maze

I'm still trapped

Could I get out?

As I looked up. As the sun shone...

Hope!... On bended knees. I prayed.
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Nov. 12th, 2008 @ 11:52 am : ) : ) : )
today is a happy day... everyday after today should be a happy daaay!! FOR EVERYONE!!!! :)

i miss lotsa lotsa people :)

xoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxo....

i'll bedazzle you (I cried over gameplan again)

WOPEEEE.. last night is a cool night!! thank youuuu digi moley
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Nov. 10th, 2008 @ 11:17 pm I JUST...
hope that didn't exist... but IT DOES :(

But it does. :"(

I need to stop being like this. :(

I NEEEEEDDDD TO... i dunno anymore...

I'm praying... I'm praying for enlightenment
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Nov. 5th, 2008 @ 11:04 pm TIC TOC TOE
I love walking alone in the mall. Not that I'm a loner or anything but I sometimes desire the feeling of being a stranger to everyone. Nobody knows me and I don't effing care what they think about me as much as I don't care about them. I love strolling in a mall with nothing in mind. Just looking around, touching, feeling the fabrics of clothes in the rack, smelling the "familiar mall smell", sight-seeing the burst of colors of stuffs... alone.

It's better to be alone. Alone. Pondering.

Alone and safe with your own self. Intact. Happy and pure.
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Oct. 29th, 2008 @ 06:24 am BUMM...
I should enjoy this state........
After a while, I'll study again.......
And after a while, I'll work.

WORK!!! Is no easy. Nursing is difficult in the Philippines. My sister is a nurse in Asian Hospital. She said that it could really suck sometimes. Filipino MDs should somewhat be more professional. For me... no one should be a sucker unless you're House. It is a reality that doctors shout on nurses. Tsk tsk. And it is also a reality that Filipinos with money could treat a professional nurse like a maid. Nursing is almost synonymous to "caring". CARING for strangers is not easy. CARING for the beneficence and non-maleficence of strangers, even the most snooooottttyyy ones, is not easy!!!!! and you'll do it everyday with 6 patients the maximum! 6 different people, 6 sets of relatives, 6 IV sets if your very unfortunate, 6 medications (medicines that have different routes!) WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!

... my future job is really not easy :( i don't know if i caaaaaaaaaaan be as good as mommy or ate. I don't want to be on bedside forever but it's the start of everything. I'm now opting to study some more. Gain more knowledge and improve the nursing field.

My bummness is an oppurtunity to rest and calm my muscles before I stand up for 6-8 straight hours. It's my time now to think of my future, realize that I'm needed by humanity (or am I really needed by humanity hahaha... oo yan!! basta!!! hehe). I'm now in the center of the storm. Few more months or days is my NCLEX. Exam for the U.S. of A. After that, apply in an institution in  the Phil. After that work in Saudi? Australia, America, UK, Canada (wherever).... Gain some bucks, study abroad, gain some bucks again, and go back to the Philippines. Teaching maybe an option. Or I could have a meeting with the nursing head and wake them up to increase the dignity and humanity value of nurses in the Philippines! Hopefully we'll be one of the top paying job in  the Philippines when our economy reaches the stability ( wherein im still doubtful in my lifetime but hey everything is possible)....


O WELL O WELL. Sige na nonood muna ako tv... hahahahaa.. bumm na bumm akoooooooooo
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Oct. 8th, 2008 @ 03:11 pm i write because...
Current Mood: indescribableindescribable
it is an outlet. when i'm mega sad or when im mega happy. being in stagnation for about 2 plus plus months now, i could say i'm never been soooo happy nor soooo sad for a while. my today and yesterday are weird days. yesterday, i was mega happy... and today... i am quite not in my inspired yeahbah yeahbah mood ( i just can't coin the word sadness directly on this entry)

with every award and honor i garner, i am always in awe. recognition is my inspiration for greater aspiration (talking about -tion... but it makes sense ayt?). inspiration to do better and better. i never do things just to have one. doing my best makes me feel happy. doing half-baked projects, researches and exam preparation makes me feel cold and clammy, tummy sick and gut wrenched. doing my not-so-best makes me feel sick period.

o well... i just want to inform myself that i am in a good track. hopefully i could achieve my ultimate dream. i wanna invent something for the nurses to make their jobs easier.. ooops i mean our job easier. (i just can't believe im now a professional!! ack!!!). i want to gain new knowledge for me to share to humanity. pero hanggang ngayon clueless ako kung ano yun. i need to get involved in a good company/hospital with good team of researchers. sana maachieve ko yun. i dream of studying abroad. hopefully i'll land in a good school.

GOD.. please make me in good use. make me productive po. pls pls pls... hugtyt again
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Aug. 19th, 2008 @ 11:33 am 21 me 21 me 21 me...
i haven't made an entry when i turned 21 last july 26 coz maybe got badtrip that day... ack... :( pero i'm extremely blessed. sobrang blessed. 


this is me today:

i'm God's daughter

i'm a believer

i'm God's miracle

i'm a health freak

i'm a reader

i'm a traveler

i'm pseudo-athletic

i'm introvert

i'm a thinker

i'm an analyzer

i'm a daydreamer (wak! i even talk while doing this)

i'm perfectionist

i'm both shepherdine and paulinian

i'm in love with colors

i'm almost always lost

i'm a nurse (and one day be an ultra mega scientist, inventor and researcher booo!)

i'm a Filipino citizen (but still have no great contribution on being one... soon... hopefully)

i'm an oddball

i'm a nerd

i'm socially impaired when my dorkiness is on its peak (thank God for my cool friends.. they're patient on my dork days)

i'm once a kid who wanted to be a boy instead but settled on being a girl hahah

i'm in awe with Pandas, Polar Bears, Grizzly Bears and Purple Elephants (they're dangerous yet seem so huggable so i go for the stuffed-with-cotton ones to be safe)

i'm a mingler

i'm makulit to some people i like

i'm grounded (no one should be boastful. we owe everything to papa God wipi)

i'm kuripot

i'm a twelve year old kid in a 21 year old body

i'm good in dealing with kids and old people.. way better that to teenagers haha

i'm clumsy and accident prone

i'm a complainer and abider at the same time

i'm easily influenced but i know my limits

i'm opinionated

i'm a forgiver

i'm conservative

i'm holding tight to values taught to me since my nursery days

i'm looking up to angelina jolie's beauty (she's really hooot!!)

i'm loving the people who loves me

i'm in love with watches big time

i'm insensitive most of the time (but poke me a little and i'll cry with you)

i'm a family-centered and friend centered kid (i balance my time between the two)

i'm a gamer

i'm loyal to my family and friends

i'm knowledgeable when to say sorry

i'm sometimes artistic

i'm dealing with the imperfections of the world (men it sucks)

i'm scared of letting my family down

i'm in constant search for "happiness" *bow... hahahah this is the title of my grad party :)

i'm a mortal (i do tons of mistakes and i get hurt too)

and im a diyosa! (wahahahaha... eto banat ng mga feeling gaya ko!)

i'm not that friendly

i'm not a girly girl

i'm not sweet

i'm not materialistic

i'm not quiet

i'm not into fashion, i'm more into comfort

i'm not into brands

i'm not a liar

i'm not a shopper

i'm not a singer

i'm not socially aware

i'm not a good dancer

i'm not a conyo kid

i'm not a party girl

i'm not a hater

i'm not maarte (but somewhat i am?! hahaha lei knows my many kaartehan)

i'm not into household chores (my sister knows a lot about this one)

i'm saying no to cooking(but i will pagtanda ko pa konti)

i'm not bored nowadays (but now i got time to chill so im doing this crap)

i'm not spoiled

i'm not a panic buyer

i'm not a giver. i'm honestly prefering to receive more that giving ( i give but i got limits on how great i give:: i'm selfish and i bite hehehehe keep away!)

i'm not a lesbo

i'm still not responsible to lots of stuffs

i'm not emotional

i'm not perfect (awesome lang! whahaha feeling koooo!! taas ng self-esteem ko nowadays kakakain ng shawarma haha)

i'm not a whiner (paminsan lang)

i'm not mataray and i don't look like one too

i'm not a saint but i look up to them (esp. st. claire and st. expeditus)

i'm not attracted to bad people. (even the one's whom claims to be the cool ones booo!)

i'm not a picky eater (i just don't like talong, squash, liver, okra and anything that i perceive LBMish foods) hahha prolly im a picky eater nga!

i'm not a dyosa.. i'm super dyosa WAHAHAA :)


.......................................


few wonderful things got added to my life. thank you God for everything. i'm not perfect. i sometimes feel that i'm not worth of all blessings. i'm sorry for my mistakes. i'm scared with the many changes. i know God you're giving me all for a reason. hopefully i'll get you're reason sooner or later. i love you God... at the end of the day. it will always be you and me.... see you God in the future. prepared to be hugged tightly God :)

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